It was not uncommon having to bribe customs officials to get clearance for the ship, this often involved a few bottles of booze and a few hundred cigarettes. As catering assistant purser on Oriana, it was often my job to escort the customs officers down to the bond room to check the inventory and seal the bond. At this time the bribes often changed hands.
On arrival in Naples I had to escort a number of Italian customs officers down below. We went into the tobacco bond. They shut the door behind them and proceeded to take off their uniforms. What the devil was going on here. Underneath the uniforms they were wearing all in one combination underwear. Cartons of cigarettes were emptied out of their wrappings and the individual packets of cigs where then stuffed all around their bodies underneath the combs. With uniforms back on they walked off the ship and past the dock police who were unaware of the stash hidden away. The police normally took a share of anything they carried off the ship.
On a future visit to Naples I went down to the bond with the officials expecting the usual performance and they took not one cigarette. With red lights flashing, I immediately reported this to BKM (yes, the 5’ 19”) Deputy Purser that something was adrift. Sure, enough not 20 minutes later the Chief of Customs arrived on the ship. What did he want – Yes you have guessed it a trip to the tobacco bond only this time it was not cigarettes but half corona cigars that went under the uniform.
This was a regular occurrence on IP and PP in the Caribbean in the mid 70's , especially in Colombo and Venezuela. The main difference was that customs and immigration officials wore military style uniforms and carried sub- machine guns !
FROM STUART DEPUTY PURSER.
1975 UGANDA visit to Yalta on the Black Sea when I was DP. First British ship to Yalta since the 1945 Churchill/Stalin/Roosevelt meeting there. It was late in the year, freezing cold and we had to arrive in darkness to prevent photography as it was a major USSR Naval base. Deck officers (Tyzack/Fatchen) asked me if I could organize a bottle of crew rum for when they came off stations. Better still I said, I will organise hot rum toddies in my cabin. There were several toddies during arrival and lots after. Clearance was done by the military so afterwards I invited the non English speaking Colonel in charge to join us in my cabin for a rum toddy. "Da" he said and after several I escorted him to the gangway. He bunged me a salute and promptly fell backwards and rolled all the way down the gangway onto the wharf where the big black Zil limousine was waiting. Next morning I was summonsed by the Old Man (JY I think) to ask what had happened the night before, as the Russians complained there was an attempt to poison one of there senior officers! When we sailed next day we had a rerun before we sailed. The Colonel returned for outward clearance and this time we got a big "Nyet".